2026-04-16
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Never seen the Moon capable of inducing skin cancer. The Sun in retrospect is way more powerful than that.
Why so many poets had to owe their words to that celestial body is beyond me.
Sun had a whole religion about it tho. Is this the Moon-fueled spirituality era?

2026-04-12
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The inner child inside me, who has been curious for the last twenty years of my life, has been dying recently. I no longer find enjoyable having insight into things I previously found hard to understand, opaque, easy to use but inherently complex. I no longer have the guts to dive into something just for the sake of decomposing it into its moving parts, I just go with it. I don't get how studying the inner workings of an apparatus can make me understand the whole picture.
Emergence always scared me. Little bits of unrelated actors which when put together could create a bigger system, so big it had new capabilities the smaller bits could never get to do.
It was the ultimate challenge to dismantle, creeping into the logical thinking process as the invisible hand of the universe, something you can believe only when you watch it with your own eyes, but still can't see.
I have failed, unfortunately, to overcome it. It is now the only belief I hold, as I have become a small little actor in an emergent system of shadows, interacting with each other. My hand is no stronger than the one the universe is equipped with.
Neuroplasticity was a profound tool I used to study the world. Someone took it from my hands and made me one cog inside an enormous machine, unable to comprehend the system from within.
A giant ever moving machine made of infinitesimal parts, of anything every single person has ever experienced in their lives. Distilled, indexed, packaged, made into a ready-made product for powerful people to use and proactively rewire your brain into anything they could ever think of. I don't know what it is, where it is exactly in my neural cortex, but I can feel it's there, physically putting weight on my encephalon.